The GAG: A Spoopcast

My Kink? A Healthy Back. (w/ Jay King Wack!)

Tear me apart, Puzzle Daddy! Professional kinky comic Jay King Wack shares her unique perspective on Clive Barker's HELLRAISER (1987).

 

I Fixed My Patreon!!!!!: www.patreon.com/gagpod

 

Plus, Cottagecore! Nipple Burning! Abarat! Jay explains how kinksters invented CrossFit and I push for MORE thrusting, but FEWER white guys.

 

CW: Spoilers for Hellraiser, and discussion of BDSM, torture, and both real and fictional violence (including violence of a sexual nature, as the Cenobites prefer...)

 

Follow moi @joshuasimonsays and Jay @therealkingwack !!!

 

And remember, gremlins: two thrusts only.

 

Lifting Flaps (w/ Megan Pope!)

DONATE to The Okra Project! theokraproject.com

Thirst Trap Scientist and Dancing Bareillesbian Megan Pope dissects the ultimate fusion of horror and sci-fi: Ridley Scott's ALIEN (1979). 

How queer is Alien, really? The answer: Yes.

We also gag on Tik-Tok, being creative during a pandemic, coming out at Six Flags, and Finding Nemo's lasting impact on trans youth.

CW: We spoil most of Alien, and there's some discussion regarding racism, transphobia, and England's most magical TERF.

Follow Megan (they/them) on Twitter: @mpopetweets and Insta: @megspope

Follow ME @joshuasimonsays

Rate and subscribe and junk! Don't be a jerk!

And finally, it's ALWAYS a great day to arrest the cops who killed Breonna Taylor.

17. "Virgin" Blood? (w/ Alison LoPresti!)

So, this episode was recorded about seventy years ago I think, and LoPresti and I talk across the board about the small-town feminist horror show that is JENNIFER'S BODY (Karyn Kusama, 2009).

We talk about the amazing women who made this movie, why men just did NOT get it, and we also bring in Machine Gun Kelly, My Chemical Romance, and Terrible Handjobs (two of these are musical acts, apparently!)

We also briefly discuss the shitty police and the state of the country, because silence is NOT an option. So. Yeah.

We ALSO get interrupted by TWO different species of animal (LoPresti is a modern-day Dolittle)!

CW: discussions of real world and fictional violence, sexual assault, sexism, racism, homophobia, oppression, all of that shit. SPOILERS for Jennifer's Body (watch it!) and the films VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST (Manuel Cano, 1973) and DIRTY O'NEIL (Lewis Teague, 1973) (don't watch it!).

And make no mistake: Black Lives Matter. Today, tomorrow, always. I will continue to listen, to try harder, to be better, and keep uplifting BIPOC voices on this podcast.

This episode is a BAD demonstration of that promise, I know. But I wanted to make it clear that I will keep fighting for you.

I love you spoopy gremlins.

TAKE ACTION:

Minnesota Freedom Fund: minnesotafreedomfund.org

Black Visions Collective: blackvisionsmn.org

Racial Justice Network: @RaceJustice

Reclaim the Block: reclaimtheblock.org

The Okra Project: theokraproject.com

National Bailout: nationalbailout.org

 

16. Big Honey (w/ Lida Darmian!)

Comedy's very own Lida Darmian (UCB, Kids These Days) discusses the most buzzworthy bits from INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS (Denis Sanders, 1973), a sci-fi spooper from the very sexy, VERY pale early 70s.

Also: SURVIVOR, INSECURE, funeral boners, and making that First Pancake movie.

TW: This episode discusses real world and fictional violence, animal cruelty, and sexuality. We also SPOIL this movie, so watch it for free on Y**T*BE!

Follow Lida on Insta: @lidapida and Twitter: @leeduh

And me: @joshuasimonsays

CHECK MY PATREON OUT: www.patreon.com/user?u=26156623&fan_landing=true

Rate and Subscribe and Junk! Don't be dumb like the dumb Str8 Men in this movie! Ok bye!

15. He Loves a Silhouette! (w/ Amy Maniscalco)

Ba ba ba dook dook DOOK, baby. She of the Many Scallops, Amy Maniscalco, takes us into the basement of the gay icon itself, THE BABADOOK (Jennifer Kent, 2014). We discuss the well-documented and NOT so well-documented evidence that the monstrous manifestation of past trauma is ALSO just a messy bitch who loves drama.

Speaking of DRAMA, this recording experience was done in ACTS, as technology was also being a messy bitch last week!

Also Also we discuss the virus a little (duh), bagels from Boston, French shampoo commercials, Alice, Ariel, Adele, and A-12/Kyle. Plus: the secret to success in HOLLYWOOD? Being really hot.

CW: discussions of fictional and real-world violence, trauma, body dysmorphia, depression, difficult children, and terrible birthday parties. Plus MAJOR spoilers for Babadook and milder ones for Hollywood and 1985's Alice in Wonderland (yes, really).

Follow Amy @amymaniscallops (Insta) @amymaniscalco (Twitter) or at www.amymaniscalco.com

And MOI @joshuasimonsays!

Stay safe, stay sane, and make sure to feed the queer trauma in your basement once or twice a week!

14. The Style is the Substance (w/ Frank Britton!)

Welcome back to my Daria Nicolodi Appreciation podcast. Frank Britton is back by popular demand (mostly mine) to gag on our gay fave: Dario Argento's SUSPIRIA.

We also talk about plenty else before the main event: From Wes Craven's INVITATION TO HELL, to locating John Travolta, to the Canadian Film Mafia!

Plus, we blow the CGI Butthole Conspiracy wide open. And much more!

CW: spoilers for SUSPIRIA (1977) as well as the 2018 REMAKE (watch em both!!!), discussions of fictional and real world violence, misogyny, and gross lil bugs.

Follow Frank! @frankbrittonactor

and me! @joshuasimonsays

Thanks for rating and/or/plz subscribing!

In conclusion: My humble apologies to Stockard Channing.

13. Josh Listens to the Rain (feat. Dane Figueroa Edidi!)

Artist, poet, and truthsayer Dane Figueroa Edidi virtually drops by to discuss THE HOUSE AT THE END OF TIME (Alejandro Hidalgo, 2013), a movie that (prepare yourselves) I had not heard of yet!

I am so glad Lady Dane brought this Venezuelan haunted house flick to my attention because it was BEAUTIFUL. And unless scares aren't your thing, I would recommend watching it before we start dropping spoilers after the first half hour.

BUT OH what a first half hour it is! Patricia Arquette goes too hard for Easter! Yemi Alade and Simu Liu! PLUS, I am distracted by rain no fewer than THREE times. Thrilling stuff. My life is a Chekhov play.

I also take my guest on a brief historical journey of the Nunsploitation genre of the 70s, much to their reluctance (Sorry Dane).

CW: Major spoilers for this film as well as William Castle's HOMICIDAL (1961). Milder spoilers for STIGMATA (1999), HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE (2018), and UNFRIENDED (2014). We also talk some pandemic talk, and get into some even gnarlier things, like institutional racism, abuse, transphobia, and even Game of Thrones Season 8.

Find The Gag: a Spoopcast on Patreon! Becoming a patron is cheap and easy and provides me with more ammo to convince my parents that this is a valid hobby!

Find Lady Dane's work on her website: www.ladydanefe.com and on Twitter @theladydane and Insta @ladydanefe

I'm still @JoshuaSimonSays and for the record, I adore Uma Thurman.

Rate and subscribe and junk! Thanks!

 

12. Genderless Cat God (with B.J. Tindal!)

It's a weird time we live in. Almost as weird as when, in 1998, SCOOBY DOO ON ZOMBIE ISLAND shockingly changed the formula for the classic Hanna-Barbera cartoon, sending America, nay, THE WORLD, into a tailspin from which we never recovered.

B.J. Tindal (playwright: Goodnight, Tyler) helps unpack the far-reaching consequences of the darkest chapter in Mystery Incorporated's history. ALSO: one of the AVATARS (the not-in-space one)! Third Eye Blind! Adrienne Barbeau! An actual dog interrupts me again (I hope that becomes a pattern)!

CW: This ep spoils the 1998 feature-length SCOOBY movie. For those who prefer to solve the mysteries on their own, give it a watch! We promise it is terrifying. Also: discussions of violence and trauma and all that.

You can purchase Tindal's PUBLISHED play (they are so badass) at concordtheatricals.com, and follow them on insta @bato.of.the.watertribe

You can also follow ME @joshuasimonsays and also check out my patreon so I don't run out of money! Living is expensive! Also don't be a dick, leave a middling-to-good review and rate me four stars!

11. These Tampons are Yelling at Me (w/ Britt A Willis!)

WELP. Here's the last episode I was able to record before the 'rona. I hope you are all staying safe and I'm already figuring out a plan for remotely recorded episodes. Luckily Podcasts are simple! (Er, just kidding they are very complex. That's why there are SO FEW OF THEM.)

Anyways. GINGER SNAPS (2000) is a fantastic film about our beautiful, weird, transforming bodies. Author/Playwright Britt A Willis ("This Vessel is a Fragile Thing") explains why they believe 'Canadian Werewolf Carrie' is more canonically trans than E**ie R*dm*yne or J*red L*to could EVER be. Sorry boys.

We also briefly discuss how ACTUAL trans/GNC experiences are put to paper by writers such as Willow Maclay, Daniel M. Lavery, and of course Britt themself!

ALSO: The Green Knight gets to chopping! Mimi Rogers versus Scientology! People are yelling about tampons and it's kind of dumb!

CW: Spoilers for GINGER SNAPS [ie: some dogs die, natch], discussions of violence, suicide, transphobia, homophobia, frank discussions of (totally normal!) bodily functions and body dysmorphia (also common!), as well as HAIR. LOTS OF HAIR. Which is, again, normal (mostly).

You can find Britt online at @feelingfickle or brittawillis.com. Their games can be found at feelingfickle.itch.io (community copies available!).

And I'm still as gay and anxious as ever @joshuasimonsays.

Love you little hormonal monsters! Reach out to me on the socials or on Patreon at The GAG: a Spoopcast. It's rough out there and we can't be together physically. BUT. No matter how different you feel, even in isolation, you're just as weird as the rest of us. And we wouldn't change that for the world.

And always remember: Wrists are for girls???

10. My High School Coven (w/ Shawn Banks!)

Remember when there were OTHER things in the news? Sherry Pie, Aaron Schock, other dumb things?

Yeah, me neither.

Fear not! Comedian Shawn Banks stops by to discuss THE CRAFT, the perfect allegory for finding your fellow weirdos to survive high school. Unless, of course, they're the ones trying to kill you.

Unsurprisingly this episode is mostly about how amazing Fairuza Balk looks.

We also gag on DRAG RACE, BON APPETIT, AHS and CHARMED, the Mowry acting dynasty, pumpkin spice coachella, Nic Cage (of course), and something called 'conde nast.'

I also interrupt Shawn's joke about 'White Gays' to share a Billy Eichner tweet. I'm so sorry, Shawn.

CW: discussions of fictional and real-world violence, racism, sexual assault, Skeet Ulrich, and bullying. And you should like totally watch this movie before this episode like totally spoils it.

Follow Shawn on insta @bankzzyyy and myself on twitsta @joshuasimonsays.

Rate and subscribe and junk! And also stay safe and flatten that curve, the str8s are bad at math!